Wednesday, January 30, 2013

No is a word that some parents use too often.  I know that when our kids were younger, I used it too much.  At least I was conscious of it, though, and tried to change my "no" to "yes" whenever I could.  But sometimes, the answer is just no -- and honestly, some of those decisions are based on how tired a parent is.

As our kids got older, I realized that saying yes or no had less to do with how I felt about going to do something (like a movie) and more to do with whether or not our kids had a ride to get there.  As long as they had a trusted "ride," and the energy to go after a long day... the end decision really didn't have much to do with me and my energy levels.

Nevertheless, sometimes a parent has to make what we'll call... the unpopular decision.

Recently, a teenage friend (whose family goes to our church) posted this on facebook:

"I often wonder what parents think when making decisions.  I wanna know."

He's a good kid - whose parents I admire a lot, so I thought about his question and decided to respond.

"One of the hardest things for me to do as a parent is to make a decision that isn't "popular" with my kids.  I always want to have a "friendly" and loving relationship with them.  BUT... God has not called me to be their friend.  He has called me to be their PARENT.  I pray that some day when (my kids) are parents, they will better understand some of the unpopular choices that their Dad and I made for them, and realize that we had their very best interests at heart when we made those choices.  I hope the same thing happens for you too -- and I think it will.  You know why?  Because... when I was your age, I didn't think MY parents' decisions were all that great either.  True story."

I'm sure this won't come as a shock to my parents.  Afterall, isn't it every kids job to push their parents' buttons and think everything they do is a little "wonky?"  At least until you grow up enough to know better, that is.

I made an unpopular decision today.  I don't like that my child is less-than-happy with me.  And...

I don't like that I had to say "no."  I guess I'm learning.


  1. Me too. I'm getting used to eye rolling and dramatic exits. But someday they'll thank me. I hope.

  2. I so agree Sally, But it seems we live in a world where parents are looking to be popular and not role models. Love the response on facebook.. Great opportunity to witness truth to that young man. Yes, what goes around comes around..My daughters have told me more than once (now that they have children of their own)...Mom you were right! It is good to hear. hang tight! Your day is coming! Meanwhile, Say no when you need to! Blessings!


Thanks so much for taking the time to comment! I read each and every one, and truly enjoy "conversations" with you! ~Sally

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