Sometimes, a Difficult Journey

I am on a difficult journey... I'm on my way to learning that not only am I not always right, but also - my ideas are not always best.   I'm on the journey with my teenage son.  I imagine my teenage daughter will join us soon.  (I'm pretty sure she's in her room packing as I type this.  I'm hoping that the journey with her will not be as difficult, but my learning curve does not seem to be all that impressive, so we'll see.)

Sometimes the journey is also painful.  Why painful, you ask?  The pain comes when my son looks at me with heavy disappointment because I have insisted that things be my way -- or because I have (in my well-meaning way) put down his idea.  Those are the times that I have to get over myself, and realize that insisting on my way is a pretty big price to pay for that look in his eyes.

I know that I am not the only parent to travel this road, but sometimes it is such a lonely journey.

I strive to be better, to encourage, to always give the benefit of the doubt.  Usually, we have really good days... a stretch of days, even.  But it's such a fine line to walk... that line between monitoring what goes on in your home, and minding your kids' business for them.

The truth is, if God gave me the option to do toddlerhood twice and skip the teen years... There are days that I would take him up on it (oh yes I would).

I should tell you that despite our difficulties now and then, my son is a good, good kid.  I'm proud-to-pieces of him -and yes, I just told him that the other night!  His recent transition from homeschooling to public school has done nothing short of knocking my socks off. Our biggest issue is probably that we are too much alike around here -- or sometimes too different -- or that we care too much.  None of which makes either of us wrong.

I'm learning to pick my battles -- even more than I had to during toddlerhood.  Oh yes, even more.  A "my way or the highway" attitude does nothing but push my son away -- and that's the LAST thing I want to do.  I'm slowly learning to be flexible and to NOT let the little things that don't really matter MATTER so much.

 

Yesterday, I was "rewarded" with this view into my son's heart:

In a wonderful moment of chattiness, he was telling me about the testing that he is taking part in this week.  He mentioned that the testing classroom (which is new to him) has windows that face the east, allowing him to watch the sunrise at the beginning of testing each morning. He said it's a great start to his day.

It sounds like maybe he has started his own list of One Thousand Gifts.  Don't look at me, I did not preach it.  He learned that all on his own.