Ch-Ch-Changes

I cannot explain it really.  I've never had this happen to me before.  A thought - so crystal clear that it was alarming.  From God?  Since it seemed to come from a place of unselfishness and consideration for family, I will say "yes."

You doubt.  Of course you do.  I have too, when I've read other people's stories of similar situations.

I can only tell you what happened to me.

I felt very clearly that I was to give up the part-time job that I have at church to make way for other things coming down the road.  The thought came to me that since our son is in public school this year, and it's very likely that our daughter will go next year, I should probably think about some kind of employment.  (Now, before you go thinking that this IS selfish afterall, please know that I have enjoyed every moment of staying at home with our kids, and have never once entertained the idea of doing anything other than care for them. I truly feel that is my calling, and genuinely have never longed for a job outside the home. I rather enjoy my little slice of heaven right here within these walls.)  The jobs that God has provided have been during the summer and on Wednesday evenings, and have always involved my children as well - so they were no-brainers.  I am so thankful for the way that God provided those jobs, and for the timing in the way they helped our family financially.

That said, we are not independently wealthy, and so it's been heavy on my heart how much of a burden my sweet hubby has carried all these years.

I thought there must be something I could do.

I'm not talking about a sit-behind-a-desk-all-day job.  In fact, that kind of job never really entered my mind.  I feel like God wants me to be available for something unconventional.  (I even feel like "unconventional" is his word, not mine.)  Several options came to mind: more scrapbooking for others (which I already do as paid "work"), child care, helping the elderly.  I don't necessarily see it as a cut and dry 8-5 kind of job, and therefore my current job (Weds.PM) could prevent me from this new endeaver.

The difficulty in leaving church work is that I am among friends.  I'm talking true-blue "move a body" kind of friends.  They support me 150%.  They are my friends even more than they are my co-workers, supervisors, and bosses.  That's why it is difficult to walk in and just say, "I resign."  There are so many heart-strings attached.  Thankfully, I work with people who put family first, and so my thinking was never questioned, but understood and accepted.  That means more to me than words can ever say.

When I shared my story (so far) with a friend, she said, "I don't even understand how a person HAS those clear-thinking 'from God' moments.  I don't hear God.  I just muddle through each day, trying to trust him, and often fail at that."  She wasn't doubting ME.  I totally understand where she was coming from.

I'm a little incredulous myself.  This is all new to me.

It seems like God is preparing me for some ch-ch-ch-changes.

"For I am about to do something new.

See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?"

Isaiah 43:19