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No is a word that some parents use too often.  I know that when our kids were younger, I used it too much.  At least I was conscious of it, though, and tried to change my "no" to "yes" whenever I could.  But sometimes, the answer is just no -- and honestly, some of those decisions are based on how tired a parent is.

As our kids got older, I realized that saying yes or no had less to do with how I felt about going to do something (like a movie) and more to do with whether or not our kids had a ride to get there.  As long as they had a trusted "ride," and the energy to go after a long day... the end decision really didn't have much to do with me and my energy levels.

Nevertheless, sometimes a parent has to make what we'll call... the unpopular decision.

Recently, a teenage friend (whose family goes to our church) posted this on facebook:

"I often wonder what parents think when making decisions.  I wanna know."

He's a good kid - whose parents I admire a lot, so I thought about his question and decided to respond.

"One of the hardest things for me to do as a parent is to make a decision that isn't "popular" with my kids.  I always want to have a "friendly" and loving relationship with them.  BUT... God has not called me to be their friend.  He has called me to be their PARENT.  I pray that some day when (my kids) are parents, they will better understand some of the unpopular choices that their Dad and I made for them, and realize that we had their very best interests at heart when we made those choices.  I hope the same thing happens for you too -- and I think it will.  You know why?  Because... when I was your age, I didn't think MY parents' decisions were all that great either.  True story."

I'm sure this won't come as a shock to my parents.  Afterall, isn't it every kids job to push their parents' buttons and think everything they do is a little "wonky?"  At least until you grow up enough to know better, that is.

I made an unpopular decision today.  I don't like that my child is less-than-happy with me.  And...

I don't like that I had to say "no."  I guess I'm learning.